Fast Forward Button

After surgery, I woke up every day in a gray, sullen hospital room and sometimes wished there was a cord I could just pull to make it all end or a button to press to fast forward through the shitty stuff (slightly dramatic, I know) but during this time I didn’t want to actually embrace/acknowledge anything I was feeling/going through, partly because I was too high off of IV Benadryl (10/10 would recommend over any other drug I had been on), Oxycodeine & other things, but also because I couldn’t really fathom what I was going through. I was pretty sick, although my short walks around the hospital had shown me that people were WAY sicker than I. I was clearly conscious enough to register some things from my experience, because I can still remember them a year later.  All I wanted to do was fast-forward to when I would no longer be sick, and feeling like my old self again.

How do we fast forward through the shitty stuff in life? The answer is: we don’t. We often don’t understand what we’re going through when we’re going through it, that’s the thing. That’s why we want to fast-forward through shitty stuff like the pain of a breakup, someone dying, getting laid off from our job, because we don’t want to feel those terrible things. I mean who does? But one of the most important things that I have come to realize throughout this entire process is that we have to be grateful for our struggles, because without them we wouldn't be able to fully relish in our successes.
We could never truly know how great things are if we didn’t have bad things to relate them to. It’s all about perception. 

We HAVE TO stop wishing our lives away. Eventually something has got to give, the tides are going to change and the tables are going to turn, but if we want to do something about our situation that we’re in then we have to stop thinking about it and act on it. We have to be grateful for the love that surrounds us or maybe even the love that doesn’t, because one day, when you have what you need, you’re going to be grateful for wherever you came from. Every day we live is us moving forward. Leaving the past in the past & living another day. We were not designed to live out groundhog day, every day ends and begins to give us a new opportunity, to push us moving forward. And if you think like this, soon you’ll start to be more present and see the tiny improvements that you're making in your life. By living in the now I mean actually living your day, embracing the pain that you experience, fully taking in all of the love that surrounds us, whether that be the people around us or the beauty that the world has to offer. Stop waiting for tomorrow to change, or even relying on a tomorrow because there may not be one. Start doing everything you can to notice the small acts of love around you & see how it changes your perception.